You can only change yourself and your reality
You can only change yourself, but no one else. If you change yourself, your attitude, your behavior and your reality, then others will seem to have changed.
There is only one person you can change and this is yourself. I make you think about this. What do you dislike about yourself or what do you want to improve? Have you tried to change what you dislike or what you want to improve about yourself? Have you been successful? If yes, how difficult or easy was it to make this change? How long did it take? What did you have to do to change? Now think about the question: It is not so easy to change yourself. How do you think you could change someone else?
You can’t change another person
Some people try hard to change their partner – men or women, without success. Just and only if the partner is willing to change something about himself he will try to make this change. It is him or her who make the change, not you. If you dislike something about your partner, you better get used to it or leave him or her.
“You do not love me, otherwise you would make this one change,” you might say to your partner. He or she can love you very much and still not be able to make that change you request from him or her.
Yes, you can ask your partner not to throw the towel to the floor. And maybe you have to ask several times and maybe you make him hang the towel on the towel dryer. After some days this might become a habit. You might get him or her do some other things differently. But you can’t change his or her personality, traits, certain habits he or she has. He or she lives in his or her own thought world, his or her own mindset. He or she lives in his or her own reality, which overlaps with yours, but is not the same.
Already children are born with a certain personality, certain traits, and a certain mindset. As a parent, you are responsible that your child builds certain thought and emotional pattern, certain characteristics, such as self esteem and self confidence. But your child has very deeply set characteristics which you can’t change. Love and accept your children the way they are, They are special and they live in their own world.
I choose the people with whom I spend time
For most of my life I did my best to be this person others find great and admire. And of course I did my best to be nice to others. Sometimes too nice.
The day came when I decided to live my life in my world. To be as I want to be. When friends asked me for a favor, which I did not like to do or had not enough time for it, I said no. I stopped waiting for friends, when we wanted to go out together. When they have not been on time, I went on my own. I then told them where I will be at what time and that they can join me if they want. It was funny that they haven’t been late anymore.
I got rid of people who did not treat me right or when I did not feel good near them. I did not return their call or I told them that I had no time meeting them. I have met lots of people, who are wonderful, with whom I have a wonderful understanding. I could not meet them earlier, because I was on a frequency where I met with people whom I did not appreciate so much.
I have written quite a few articles about the importance of having the right frequency. If you are not treated from someone the way you want to be treated, distance yourself from that person. And look forward to meet some wonderful people, who treat you well, instead.
If you can’t stand someone, because of whatever reason, leave. You will meet people who are wonderful. It is you, who has to make this step. The moment you decide to spend your time only with people you like and you stop seeing those you don’t like so much, your life will change. You can’t change others. You can only change yourself.
If you spend time with people who treat you well, you will feel better about yourself and this will have an influence on all areas of your life. Your life will improve. Become aware of this fact! I have made this experience and it was a wonderful experience.
Sometimes it helps making little changes
I have lived in my mother’s house for a few months. My brother lives in the next house. My car had to be repaired and I had to wait for a spare part from the US. It took weeks. Whenever I asked my brother if I could have his car at about two thirty, he came back at about three twenty. He excused that he has overlooked the time. The third time I asked him to do the shopping for me on the way home. He did and he did it well, I saved time and we both have been happy. Believe it or not, even though he was shopping quite a few things, he came home at three twenty. Just that I did not care.
If you like a person, but you dislike something about him, try to find a solution that serves both. It will not always be as easy as I have solved the problem with my brother, but you might find a solution.
The first wife of my brother was the best. My brother asked her: “Where is my light blue shirt?” She: “Where did you put it?” He answered: “Into the box for dirty laundry.” She said: “Then it will be there.” My brother was shocked. “You did not wash it?” She: “First, you did not ask me that I shall wash it and second, you don’t wash my blouses either. We can make a deal. One week I do the laundry and the next you do it.” My brother brought his shirts to the cleaner and the problem was solved. He had to find out that you can’t change others, but you can find a solution.
Clean your own house and let others have things their way
I have friends who were criticizing others. I have explained that it is on each of us to make it better. Clean your own house first and let others organize their house their way. Do it your way and let others have theirs.
If you see people who are awfully dressed, have a look at your clothing. If you like it, be happy about it. You are dressed well. It is non of your business how others are dressed.
If your partner is not dressed well, go shopping with him or her. If his or her taste differs from yours, think if you can live with it. If you can’t, it might not be the right partner.
Think about what and why you are criticizing others. Does it have a specific reason? Does it make any sense? You can only change yourself. You can’t change the taste and the preferences of others.
You can hardly change yourself
You can hardly change yourself. What makes you believe that you could change others?
I have found out that what I dislike about other people is sometimes what I dislike about myself.
Start to change yourself, before you try to change someone else. Write down all you dislike and all you want to improve about yourself. With every item on your list, ask yourself, how difficult you assume that it is to make this change, You can give all items on your list a number between one and ten. Give it a one, if you assume that it is easy to make this change and a ten stands for very difficult if not impossible.
You have items on your list of what you want to change about yourself, which you can change easily, some which take a few weeks or months and some which are very difficult to change.
With every item on your list, think about what you have to do to make the changes
With every item on your list of what you want to change about yourself, think about what you have to do to make these changes.
For example, you might want to have more self confidence. You can condition more self confidence with Visualization. You can listen to the Improve Your Self Confidence Subliminal. You have to repeat the visualization once or twice daily for several weeks to condition a better self confidence. And you have to listen to the subliminal once or twice daily for several weeks. You can also practice more self confidence with the actor’s method, which you learn in the Visualization System.
To change your style can be done in a few days. But you have to get used to it, which takes at least three weeks. If you can’t afford to buy new clothes, you have to make the necessary money. This can mean that you have to work a few hours per day more, until you have the money to be able to change your style.
In case you want to lose weight, you will be successful, if you also condition yourself to have less body fat. If you lose too much weight too quickly, you might soon win it back. It is not that diets are not working, but the feeling you have about your body. I remember I have put on a few pounds and felt awful the moment I have lost some weight. It took me a few days until I got used to this new feeling of my body. I have lost 4 pounds and put on 2. I stayed about three weeks with this weight. Then I lost 2 pounds and stayed with this weight for two or three weeks. When I did the weight loss slower, it has worked out and it was permanent. If you need to lose more than just a few pounds, you of course can lose several pounds, before you wait that you get used to the new feeling.
If you earn more money, you also have to get used to it. It is another feeling. You will enjoy having more money, but you might not make the right decision about how to spend it. You should also save some of it.
If you get a higher paid job, you might also have to change your style. Maybe even your address and have to pay a higher rent.
Are you organized? It is easy to become and stay organized. You only have to organize your home once and from then on put things where they should be.
Before you judge anyone judge yourself first. You can only change yourself and make changes of your reality. All other people live in their own reallity. The reality of people who are around you overlap with yours. If you change,, your reality will change, and the people around you will seem to have changed.
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