How to not get influenced by others
Ways to Deal With The Opinions of Others
Too many people take it so very serious what others say. They become miserable for a long time which is sad. There are better ways to deal with the opinions of others.
The opinions of others can be positive or negative. If others say something positive, it makes you feel good. For example: I am always happy to see you. You are a great person. I enjoy spending time with you. You really look good. You have a great body. You have a great demeanor. Of course you will be happy about compliments. But what if the opinions of others are negative?
If an opinion about you is positive, you feel good. Negative opinions of others can trigger negative emotions. Don‘t let this happen.
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Content in How to Not Get Influenced By the Opinions of Others
- Find the cause why the opinions of others trigger negative emotions
- How you have been educated as a child is important when it comes to taking the opinions of others too serious
- Do you allow other people’s opinions to spoil your mood?
- Be aware of how special you are and take the opinions of others lightly
- Why are opinions of others important to you?
- If you have a good opinion of yourself you will not be verbally attacked by others
- Only the opinion you have of yourself counts
- When I read that someone put a negative opinion on someone else I feel sorry for him
- There will always be people who will have negative opinions of you
- Build a wall against negative opinions of others
- Do not let pinions of others influence your thought and emotions
- Should you care about other people‘s opinions?
- What you should do that opinions of others don‘t matter to you
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Find the cause why the opinions of others trigger negative emotions
If opinions of others trigger negative emotions in you, you shall find out the cause. Why do opinions of others if true or not put you down? Is it a lack of self worth, self consciousness or self love? If this is the case, you shall do something about it. Don‘t let opinions of others influence your emotions and also not your thoughts.
Don‘t let opinions of others influence your emotions and also not your thoughts.
There are people who put others down to hurt them. The reason for this is that these people are not doing well themelves. They are jealous or have other negative emotions that they take out on others. I feel sorry for these people.
The worse others speak about you the more important you are.
Some time ago a beautiful girl commited suicide, because her appearance was criticized on social media. I immediately thought it was envy and jealousy. I didn’t see anything about her that could have been criticized. She was very pretty. Why did the criticism put her down so much? I was wondering how her parents treated her. How much did they love her and show her their love? What about her self-esteem which has to do with the education by her parents. So sad that she did not have any inner strength to smile about the wrong criticism and that she was not aware how beautiful she was.
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One time during the years at school I heard that some girls talked very badly about me. I told my mother and she said: The worse others speak about you, the more important you are. When I went to school next day, I carried my nose little bit higher as usual and smiled.
Listen to positive opinions of others
Years back I told a girl friend that she is very pretty. She got angry and said: Look at my nose, how ugly it is. Her nose? I never have looked so close at her nose. I realized that she had a nice nose which was not perfectly formed. What‘s wrong with your nose, I asked her. I really dislike it, she said. I don‘t get your point, I said. Your nose is okay and you are pretty. No one only looks at your nose. It is the overall look that counts, I said. But she got angy and left. I couldn‘t calm her down. Her boyfriend had left her and she looked for reasons. The only flaw about her body and face she could find was her nose. But this was not the reason that he had left her. She has put a negative optinion on herself which had triggered strong negative emotions in her. Negative emotions are felt by others and have negative side effects.
When I lived in Vienna, Austria I often went to a restaurant-bar for a bite and a glass. One day a man, who was standing next to me at the counter, said: You have holes on your nose. I have a couple more holes but don’t think of them, I answered. You only have to turn around and you don‘t see my holes anymore. When I look into the mirror I am not aware of them. We ended up having a very nice chat.
One way to deal with opinions of others, is make some fun. Make the other laugh and he will change his opinion about you.
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How you have been educated as a child is important when it comes to taking the opinions of others serious or not
If you have been loved by your parents, you are strong inside and you can take the opinions of others lightly. It is good if your parents told you to recognize your values, your good sides, your beauty, your talents.
In case you have children, tell them repeatedly how great they are and that you love them. Hug them when they get home. Give them compliments whenever possible. Tell them what you find is great about them and what they do good.
Talk with them about people who put others down. That they should feel sorry for them. But not take it serious if these people speak out a negative opinion about them.
If your self-confidence is not very strong, listen to the Self-Confidence 3A Subliminal twice daily for several weeks.
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Do you allow other people’s opinions to spoil your mood?
Be aware of how unique and great you are. Every person is unique and therefore special. See the good about you and not only this one point, if trrue or not, if flaw or not, which is or might be critized.
If someone critices you, smile and say that you live well with whatever was criticized. Or say that this person shouldn‘t take that flaw so hard. And tell him that it is not that bad for you. Or make a joke. Take the wind out of his/her sails. Then go your way. These people want to take their bad mood out on you. Don’t let that happen. It is better to avoid such people.
If someone puts a negative opinion about you, smile and say that you live well with this little flaw. And avoid people who speak out negative opinions of you or others.
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Be aware of how special you are and take the opinions of others lightly
If you know and appreciate yourself, your self-esteem and your self-love are strong enough, the opinions of others about you will not hurt you.
There is positive and negative criticism. Someone might tell you that you should lose some weight. If it is true, you might answer with yes, you are right and I know I would look and feel better. But I find it so difficult to go on a diet. It is not the opinion of others that is true and meant well that is causing a problem. It is opinions that do not meet the opinion you have of yourself that hurts. Others might make you question yourself. Am I really not as pretty as I think I am? This girl who commited suicide has maybe said that to herself.
It is opinions that do not meet the opinion you have of yourself that hurts.
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Why are opinions of others important to you?
Ask yourself, why opinions of others are important to you. Think about it!
The only person there is in your life is you. Respect yourself, see your values, your talents, be okay with your body, your face and your looks in general and smile about any opinions of others.
If an opinion of someone else is true, say that you too are sad about this flaw, but that you have to live with it.
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If you have a good opinion of yourself you will not be verbally attacked by others
For a too short time I learned a martial arts. One day on the way home, still in my martial arts outfit, I got into a talk with a police men. He said that women who know how to defend themselves radiate this and are seldom attacked. This also means that if you have a strong positive opinion of yourself, you will most probably not be verbally attacked by others. And if you are, you will take it lightly.
The reason that others don’t put negative opinions on you if you are self-assured is, that they feel they can’t hurt you. Only negative people who don’t think so great about themselves, speak out negative opinions of others. They believe that this is making them feel better. But this is wrong. If they feel that they can’t harm you, they will go out of your way, This is good. You don’t want negative people near you.
If you have a strong positive opinion of yourself, you will not be verbally attacked by others.
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Only the opinion you have of yourself counts
Only the opinion you have of yourself is important. The only person that is important in your life is you. If you feel great about yourself, you will draw people toward you who also think great about themselves and they will respect you and not say a false opinion about you.
This is an important point. If you take other people’s opinions too seriously, you should work on yourself to become stronger inside. With that endeavor, others will change their attitudes towards you and you will attract people who respect you the way you are. They will not put false opinions on you. Stop giving people power over you.
I can‘t remember if the opinion of someone else has ever hurt me. I remember compliments and positive opinions. It is possible that people put their opinions on me, but I didn‘t take it negatively and surely not serious. I love to remember the positive opinions others have of me. It is a long time ago when I was with a friend in the Club Jimmy‘z in Monte Carlo. The lady at the next table said to my friend: You have very good taste. He answered: I always drink Cristal Rosè. No, I mean the lady at your side, she said. I found this compliment the most beautiful I ever got. A lady in a shop in Vienna once said: I am always happy when I see you come in. You are so cheerful, which makes me feel good.
If you radiate happiness, self-esteem and self-worth, you will mostly hear positive opinions of others.
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When I read that someone put a negative opinion on someone else I feel sorry for him
It is people who do not think so great about themselves who come with negative opinions of others and usually that other person is better than he from his point of view. Why do they believe that they will feel better if they are hurting others? Are they feeling better? I don‘t think so. I believe that he is hurting himself and no one should take the opinion of someone like this serious.
Help him/her to feel better about himself. Say something nice or give him a compliment.
I feel good when I give a compliment and see the face of this person lighten up. You should try it. If someone speaks out a negative opinion about you, give him/her a compliment. He/she will most probably never again say something negative to you. This person will also speak nicely about you behind your back.
There are people who react with anger to a negative opinion. It is comparable when one strikes another and the attacked person strikes back immediately. Dealing pain to one another does no good.
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There will always be people who will have negative opinions of you
There will always be people who will have negative opinions of you. It is on you what you make of it. It is that person‘s opinion. Your‘s is different, isn‘t it? You can never make it right for everyone and why should you? They all don‘t really know you and your life. Only you do.
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Build a wall against negative opinions of others
It is only important what you think about yourself. Speak to you and about you in the most postive way. If you speak to yourself, only allow positive words and phrases. This will build a wall against negative opinions of others.
Think about what you find great about yourself. Make a list in writing. Have it handy. Whenever you do not feel so great, read it and remember what a wonderful person you are.
If your self-confidence is not very strong, listen to the Self-Confidence 3A Subliminal twice daily for several weeks.
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Do not let opinions of others influence your thoughts and emotions
If you have read some articles on this blog, you know how important your thoughts and emotions are. Your thoughts influence your emotions and you create with how you feel and with your beliefs. You want to improve and live a good life. Therefore you have to keep your thoughts positive, make yourself feel good and happy. This will influence your frequency which lets you perceive what you think about most.
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What I do with opinions of others
If someone speaks out an opinion he / she has about me which shall put me down, I do think about it for a moment. Some of these opinions are true, a few are not.
I worked in my father’s company when a relative who studied at a university said that she only speaks to academics. A few years later I had a PhD, so I was an academic. After many years of studying, this acquaintance did not even achieve the lowest academic degree. If someone says something degrading to me today, I say to myself: Don’t be mistaken!
It happens that someone says something to me that is the truth and I can no longer change, I simply say: You are right. No one is perfect!
Today I live in a different reality that is constantly changing. The opinion of others doesn’t matter.
I am surprised that I keep getting compliments, that is, opinions from others that are beautiful and enjoyable. Some of these opinions are a little too much. They say: You are very good looking. Yes, I am attractive. Yes, I am a lot like my father, but not a salesperson who makes tons of money. Right, I am not stupid, but I would love to be more intelligent. There are no negative opinions from others. I think that depends on the attitude you have about yourself.
I am interested in the opinion I have of myself. I don’t care what others think of me. I know my strengths and weaknesses. I am working on myself to improve. I know that I am not reaching the highest standard. Life is not about being perfect in all areas. It is far more important to be happy. And I achieved that.
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Should you care about other people‘s opinions?
You should absolutely not care about other people‘s opinions. It is not their but your life you live. Only you know what is important and what is best for you. Only you know your goals and what decisions you have to make.
It is better if you listen to your intuition, your inner voice as to what others say. Your intuition knows what is best for you, not another person.
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What you should do that opinions of others don‘t matter to you
Learn to meditate and meditate each day for at least 20 minutes. You will understand what is really important and that the opinions of others have absolutely no importance. You will become strong inside. You will be able to make changes on yourself and your life. You will become happier and more fulfilled. You self-esteem and self-love will become stronger. Opinions of others will not move you anymore.
The result will be that others will not try to put you down with their negative opinions. Such people will be out of your life. The people that will surround you will be positive, appreciative, happy and fulfilled as you are. You will enjoy their company. You will wonder how you could have been hurt by the opinions of others.
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